Inner bonding is the first step in the process to living an extraordinary life and provides a road map for learning to love yourself
Self-love is a popular phrase that has been getting more attention and is an important characteristic to a life well lived. And while it’s easy to tell someone to love themselves, I know from personal experience it can be much harder to follow through and do.
What I’ve learned from practicing self-love and what you should know too is that you can only love others as much as you love yourself.
Having a state of appreciation for yourself; who you are, what you do, and how you interact with the world will be the foundation you build a healthy, happy life on.
I have found that self-love is the spirited process of understanding and accepting my weaknesses along with my strengths. By facing and managing life’s continual setbacks and achievements I have been empowered and matured. I no longer have the need to explain my short-comings and I am able to cheerfully allow myself to rejoice in my successes.
For me, acknowledging that I was in charge of my feelings was the place to start.
I began my experience to self-love when I learned how mindfulness helped me create optimal health and wellness. By giving myself the choice of what I was bringing into my mind I began to build self-confidence and enjoyed a deeper appreciation for who I was and what I had to offer to others.
Believing in myself and my abilities, I am no longer afraid to take chances; I know that amazing live right outside of my comfort zone. Daniell Koepke said it best, “In these moments, it’s easy to focus on all of the things that have gone wrong. It’s easy to focus on the loss and the heartbreak and the pain, but it’s also important to remember all of the things that have gone right. It’s important to remember all of the positive experiences and friendships and growth and laughter you’ve gained—things you would have never taken part in, lessons you would have never learned and people you would have never met had you not veered off the desired path.”
Life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. I choose to appreciate all of my experiences—good, bad, and indifferent, continuing to learn from them all. From the captivating Marilyn Monroe comes, “I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let them go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
Healthy relationships make me feel strong and steady. The best feeling in the world is knowing that my presence and my absence means something to someone. “You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance – you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go." Daniell Koepke
Even when others don’t understand my dreams, I refuse to give up. In the words of the inspiring Sandra King, “Unless someone can look into the core of your heart, and see the degree of your passion, or look into the depths of your soul and see the extent of your will, then they have no business telling you what you can or cannot achieve. Because while they may know the odds, they do not know you. Nor do they know the power of your angels.”
While I may not be perfect, parts of me are excellent! “I may not be someone’s first choice, but I’m a great choice. I may not be rich, but I’m valuable. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not, because I’m good at being me. I might not be proud of some of the things I’ve done in the past, but I’m proud of who I am today. I may not be perfect, but I don’t need to be. Take me as I am or watch me as I walk away.” ~ Author Unknown
I am willing to release certain expectations of the life I had planned and am always ready for the one that is waiting for me. The faithfully religionless Timber Hawkeye explains it best, “We are urgently rushing toward some goal or dream, or an ever-elusive ‘finish line’ of some sort. Under the pretense of pursing happiness (and the heavy weight of questions like “Where do you see yourself five years from now?”), we imagine a different version of ourselves existing in the distant future somewhere—often richer, calmer, stable and wise. As a result, we spend very little time appreciating where we are today. By being so focused on how things ‘could be,’ we are under-appreciating how great things already are."
Beginning right now you can build a happier, more fulfilling life for yourself. I hope that sharing what I’ve learned from practicing self-love and what you should know too is an important step in your journey.
I am a corporate wellness consultant. As a master yoga instructor, I support in-house wellness programs, seminars, trade shows and executive retreats. I help business leaders build and maintain physical and mental well-being. If you would like to learn more about offering a health and fitness program to your busy management team contact me at [email protected] or 386.871.0582
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